Lies
by hideunspoken
Summary: Edwards point of view in New Moon when he leaves Bella.


**A/N: This is my first twilight fanfic, so I hope you enjoy. One-Shot in Edward's point of view in New Moon when he leaves Bella. This was probably my least favorite part in the entire series, but I think it sounds better in Edwards POV. Please review!**

After hiding every evidence of my existence in Bella's house, I returned to my car to wait as patiently as I was capable of. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Bella's truck drove up. I stepped out of my car and, like a zombie, took her bag from her and put it onto the seat of her truck.

My face and voice portrayed no emotion when I said, "Come for a walk with me." I took Bella's hand, not waiting for an answer, and pulled her along the yard, towards the forest. Bella was silent as we stepped only a few feet into the forest. I could no longer delay what must be done. I leaned against a tree and stared at Bella, memorizing every last feature and expression.

"Okay, let's talk," Bella said, anxiety slipping through her attempt to control her voice.

I was skilled in hiding my feelings, revealing a blank face, but my insides were tearing themselves apart as I tried to gain the strength to speak. I took a deep breath. This would be the last time that I every take in every essence of her scent.

"Bella, we're leaving," I said, rather bluntly. Bella just stared at me, as if she had almost been expecting it.

"Why now? Another year—," Bella began, but I cut her off.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three right now. We'd have to start over soon regardless," I said, hoping not to sound too rehearsed. Bella's expression changed into confusion.

"When you say _we_--," she said quietly, and I realized that she had understood. I knew I needed to make it as clearly as possible.

"I mean my family and myself," I said. She simply shook her head, so I waited for her to speak.

"Okay, I'll come with you."

"You can't Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you," I said, trying to say it as simply as possible. I had to contain the parts in my mind that wanted to tell her to forget everything I had just said. I wanted to tell her I was lying, and I wanted to be with her forever, but I knew it was impossible. I was doing this for her. She deserved a human life, and I couldn't give her that.

"Where you are is the right place for me," she said, her voice full of hope.

"I'm no good for you Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life," she said, begging me now.

"My world is not for you," I said. This was true. She was mixing with the _very_ wrong crowd. A human in a vampire world can never be safe.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward. Nothing!"

"You're right. It was exactly to be expected," I said.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

I cut across her to finish her sentence, "As long as it was best for you."

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already."

Bella was hanging on to every last thread of hope to convince me to stay. Even my lifeless heart was clenching in agony. I was hurting her, something I had tried to avoid, but she was so persistent. There was only one last thing I was forced to add before I left. I needed to leave her so she could heal and move on. I was hoping to not have to resort to this, but it was the only way. Lying had become a part of my life. Lying about what I was, who I was, what I did, but nothing could even compare to lie that I was about to tell.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," I said, using every ounce of control that I had to not let the anguish that was inside me slip out. I stared at her with cold eyes as I could hear her heart start beating faster, and her breathing came close to hyperventilation.

"You…don't…want me?" She said with disbelief.

"No," I lied again.

"Well, that changes things," she said. I was surprised at how fast she believed me. I had expected to be here for hours to try to convince her, but she was so quick to accept it. That brought on a whole other round of emotions on my part. How could she possibly believe this so quickly, when I had told her time after time of how much I love her?

I looked away to be sure that my face would not betray me when I said, "Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." Only the last part of that speech was true. The longer we spent together, the more attached we both came, which only made this inevitable moment more difficult.

"Don't. Don't do this," Bella whispered, her voice cracking.

"You're not good for me, Bella," I said, rearranging the words of my previous statement. Last time, I was truthful in saying I was not good for her. This time, however, was a downright lie. Bella was the only thing in the world that was good for me, but I was being too selfish in the past months.

"If…that's what you want," she said, trying, I could tell, to keep the pain out of her voice. I nodded because I was unsure that I could respond without emotion.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," I said, and I saw her face full of eagerness and willingness to fulfill any last wish I asked of her. I could feel the hurt flash across my face before I could compose my expression once again.

"Anything," she promised.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I am saying?" I said, with more emotion and intensity than I had conveyed in the past few days. As Bella nodded, I slipped back into my zombie-like expression.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself—for him," I added to the end, so as to let her think that it was not because I cared about her, which was just another lie tacked on to the rest.

"I will," she whispered.

"And I will make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." Making this promise was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, because I was going to do my very best to fulfill it. Bella began to tremble, and I knew it was time that I had to leave.

"Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind," I said, trying to sound reassuring.

"And your memories?" She asked. After all I had put her through, she still cared too much for me.

"Well, I won't forget," I admitted, "But my kind…we're very easily distracted." This was not entirely a lie because we are easily distracted, but I was unsure that anything would be able to distract my thoughts of Bella. I smiled mechanically and took a step back.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back," Bella realized and another flash of pain flew across her face. I shook my head slowly, still looking at her.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" she asked, still in disbelief.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." This was an understatement. Alice had begged me to let her see Bella one last time, but she obeyed my wishes. That would not have been good for Bella.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said, quietly and definitely. It was time.

"Wait!" Bella half-shouted, but her voice broke. Her hand reached forward for me, but I pinned them to her sides. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips on her forehead for the last time, pulling away quickly. If I let it last any longer I would not have been able to stop. Her eyes closed and I took that moment to turn and run away from the only thing that tethered me to life. I ran from the only thing that mattered to me, in hopes that she would be better off without me.


End file.
